Technology deprivation has created a criminal out of me

Jan 18, Home Base, Rotterdam, Some time between midnight and 3AM (I don't have a clock)


A heads up: this post is pretty silly. If you're here for thought-provoking content, you might want to skip this one. But, it was still super fun to write :) I swear I'm not actually going crazy.

I am waiting these thoughts down on a page of a magazine. It's actually a rather nice one that I picked up at the airport, and it's a bit of a pity that I'm defacing it. I'm sure that the half-naked Salvatore Ferragamo model currently occupying these pages won't mind. And even if he does, no matter - I OWN this magazine. On top of that, you know how some people think that when you are photographed, the camera steals your soul? Yeah, that's right I OWN YOUR SOUL, buddy.


Anyways, you might ask "Why are you resorting to such barbarism and recording your thoughts by hand instead of typing?!" To that, oh mysterious unknown reader I have created in my head, I respond as such: Is "barbarism" a word? I would Google it, but I'm down to 40% battery on my phone, and must ration the remainder for worthwhile initiatives. Like watching funny YouTube videos. 


EDIT: "Barbarism" is a word! You clever little thing, you! It might be a little I drastic of a descriptor though... What exactly do you think of me?!


Okay, I just checked the bookshelf of my hotel room to see if there is a dictionary. There isn't. However, there is a fascinating volume called "Literary Gastronomy" that I might check out later. Not being sarcastic here, I actually will browse through it later.


Anyways, back on topic. Upon arriving back home, I knew I had to find a way of keeping busy that didn't involve wasting my life (and battery) on my phone. Thank goodness there is a TV in my room. Otherwise, I'd have to resort to reading the ancient books put in here clearly for decoration purposes only. Yikes, did I let that slip... I swear I actually am interested in the Gastronomy book. It'll remind me that there is better food out there than the bread and peanut butter I've been subsisting on while waiting until my actual room, with a working kitchen and fridge, opens up!


Dear Mr. Half-Naked Salvatore Ferragamo Model (can I just drop some letters, rearrange your name, buy a vowel, and call you "SNAFU" for short?). I apologize that I am now writing on your beautiful chest. At least I avoided your white pants... The ink would be harder to remove from those. I can only hope that this photo, despite its soul-stealing capabilities, does not double as a voo-doo doll. Otherwise, I apologize profusely for these strange words you'll find on your upper body when you wake up. Hey, maybe you can use this to expand your modeling career into posing for bleach, concealer, and white-out products! And at least these words are well written, right? (Disagree, and I'll mess with your face. I swear, I'll do it, I have more than enough ink left here to gift you a curly-tipped moustache.)

In conclusion, this post just goes to show how much can be accomplished when you remove yourself from the clutches of technology. I watched the entire Batman Begins movie, delved deeper into the Dutch psyche by analyzing their advertisements (I'm a marketing student, what do you expect?), and had scintillating (albeit one-sided) conversations with both myself, and a male model who may or may not sue me for vandalism of his torso, depending on how potent my witchcraft truly is.


#exchange